The Love Letter

Dear God, There's a dark and lonely room I used to sit in. In that room I was sheltered from all the bad in the world. It was my hiding place, no one could find me there. I fed on self-criticism and self-condemnation was my daily bread. For dessert, the tears streaming down my face fulfilled me. On really bad days, I wanted to take my life. Sure, I've been brave but when it came to taking my life, I pushed myself to the back of the line. I just couldn't do it... Was it you telling me not to? Could it have been your hand keeping me from doing it? I met a guy today, he's named after Christ. (--,.) He's really nice and is a great friend. He told me he loves me, but I don't buy it. Many people have said that and had nothing to show for it. I get the feeling that he's different, nothing like all the other Tom, Dick and Jabu's I've met and given my heart to. At the moment, you're keeping my heart. If it's in your will, allow him to hold it. I'll give him a shot, I hope he never does me wrong... We shared our first kiss today. (**,) It felt... Indescribable. The way he held me, it let me know he didn't want to hurt me. It's as though he knew I was fragile, so he took care when he handled me. Never in my life did I feel so cared for and loved... I think I love him too... I'm not sure what love feels like, but after you showed me how much you love me, I figured that's exactly how I feel about him. If we are meant to be, please give me a sign or something, I don't want this to end... A few months in and he's still here! He's had to put up with my nonsense, my insecurity, my guilt and years of pain. He adores my scars and thinks I look cute when I'm angry. He calms me down when I'm on the edge. Many times has he given me reason to thank you for him. In more ways then a few, he reminds me of you. Has he chased after your heart? Is he still chasing it? Lord, this is too good to be true, I can't go on like this if it'll come to an end... I went back to my dark room, after months of leaving. The same feelings that would torture me came back. This time though, I was not alone. Both of you were there with me. I don't know how he did it but he brought light into the room. I got to see the mess I lived in and just cried. He looked at me, wiped my tears, then offered to help me tidy up. He helped me pick up the pieces of my life, without judgement. He swept up all my insecurities and threw them away. Like I said, this is too good to be true. Take him away from me if he's not for me! Can't bear to lose him, not right now... I see why you brought him to me. He was an extension of you. He came here, just like Christ did, and made me whole. He allowed me to not only see but be the side of me you've been looking at that I was not aware of. he made me a better me. So this morning I want to thank you for my Superman. I love you Daddy, you're the best I've ever had and for the rest of my life will I live to serve and praise you.