This Isn't An Apology

Ever since I left, I've been an emotional mess... My every waking moment is spent thinking about you, what happened and what life would have been like had I stayed. Maybe I was an idiot for throwing it all away but the only way I could fix things with God was to let you go. This isn't an apology for letting you go, it's a demand for an apology... You see, while I had you as a "special friend", I thought I was happy. I held onto hope that we'd be together one day and that we'd be magical but you never gave me a shot. Instead, all I really was to you was a friend in "need". Yeah, I promised myself and my future daughter that I'd never do that (EVER) but I did it because I had something I'd like to call HOPE. I HOPED you'd see me for the beautiful and ridiculously amazing woman I know I am. I HOPED you'd look past my blonde moments to realize how happy I intended to make you. You have to admit, no other girl could make you feel as happy and as much of a man as I did and now that I'm not there, I trust you've woken up to that truth. You have my number, you know how to reach me and you know where to find me. I want you to apologise. Apologise for leading me on, for selling me dreams and hurting me. Spologise for making me feel guilty for loving myself before putting you first. Apologise for the nights I spent out dedicating every shot glass to you and the ass you are. All I need to move on is a simple apology...