Lord, Hear Me Out

I'm in the car with my uncle and Tony rushing to the hospital. My dad's diabetic condition has taken its toll on him, so he's been admitted. Thoughts running through my mind, wishing that he's okay. He hasn't been the best person to me but he's still my father. No matter what he's done, there's a part of me that loves him. We're running to his room and all I see is him in a bed, tubes everywhere and beeping machines. I've never felt so overwhelmed with emotion before, so I break down at the door and fall into Tony's arms.

I'm so scared of what will happen to my dad. His marriage to my mom took the worst turn when I came along. See, his mother's rumoured to not like mine very much, that's why we aren't invited to visit her as often as we should. Now, amidst all the conflict between my mother and grandmother, my father has taken his mother's side, and so the marriage to my mother slowly deteriorated over the years. I remember when I was 12-years-old, my mother told my siblings and I that she wanted to get a divorce and I was the first to object. I saw what divorce did to my friends and I didn't want the same to happen to me. Yeah, I was selfish because my mom had to put up with my dad's shenanigans for years just to keep the family together.

As I grew up, I realised my dad cared more about how I was doing in school rather than who I was. I learned to live with that and to this day we cannot keep a decent conversation between us. I've tried to reach out to him but he wouldn't budge so I gave up. Now that I'm in the hospital watching him suffer like this, everything I'd said to him is coming back to me and I feel bad for saying some of the things I have. Memories of when I was a little girl looking up to my father as though he was my superhero flood my mind and I can't hold the tears back. Tony walks me out of the room and to the reception area.

Tony: " Babe, I am so sorry for all this. If I could do anything to fix it I would. Be strong for your mom and siblings, they need you to hold your own so you can go through this together. I'm here for you if you need me, I won't leave your side no matter what... I love you Lesego, more than you think. "

I'm so hysterical I can't even speak. The next few weeks are a blur, staying home with the family, my father's friends coming in and out of the house to show their support and distant relatives making appearances... It's all too much. I can't even begin to imagine how crazy things are going to get from here onwards. We got a phone call from the hospital to inform us that my father had passed away so preparations for the funeral are in order. There's a friend that mom has, he's a doctor. He's been here every day just hanging out with the family and helping out with arrangements. Let's call him Uncle Morgan.

I'm sitting outside with Tony at the house and Uncle Morgan comes through to sit with us.

Uncle Morgan: " Lesego, I know how you feel. I lost my father at your age to the struggle. He was an active member of the ANC in his time so all he knew was the quest for freedom and he died pursuing that quest. Your dad was a good man, and you know deep down in your heart that he is. If you need anything, I'm here for you. "

Uncle Morgan's hugs are always the best. I've known him since I was a baby. He'd get me crazy birthday presents and helped around the house when my dad was away. I've never been very close to him since getting into high school but having him here at this time makes me forget all that. Uncle Morgan and mom were in university together. She graduated to become a Biology teacher, him a doctor. They've been best friends ever since. Uncle Morgan was married until his wife left him a few years ago, so he's just coasting and working on his career.

The funeral went as it should have, we had to get my dad's estate in order and move on. He's left the house to mom, divided the policy money equally amongst us all and gave each of us a prized possession if his. I got his car, which is pretty awesome. Weeks pass by and I'm back in Sandton with Tony.

Tony: " There's something you need to know about me. The funeral kind of opened my eyes to this... "

Me: " What's up? It sounds serious... "

Tony: " The woman I know to be my mother isn't my biological mother. My real mother died while giving birth to me. Dad raised us on his own for a few years before he married my current mother. I never met my real mother but hearing stories from Melusi and dad I can confidently say that she was amazing. I know how you feel, kind of. So don't ever think you're alone babe. I've got you when you need me. "

Me: " Wow... I'm sorry babe, I never realised this. I don't know what to say, but thanks for being there for me. It sucks that school is starting soon. Our final year of high school, and I won't be as close to you as I'd like to. "

Tony: " You aren't moving to another country so you're closer than you think. I'll love you no matter how far you are babe, know that. "

I get home, it's two weeks before school starts and mom has some news,

" Guys, you have three days to pack your clothes. We're moving to SANDTON! "

Uh... What the #$¥!?

To be continued...