uh... "Love"?

Tony: " Hey beautiful, I just wanted to say good morning and wish you an amazing day. I guess you're still asleep... Uhm, call me after school, okay? "

That's the voice message my man left me this morning. He leaves me one every morning so that the first voice I hear is his. Being with him over the past six months has been pure bliss. I love how he makes everything feel brand new every day. I've been to his place a number of times, and he's come to visit when I was at my uncle's place. I cooked for him the other night, and he loved my food so much he gave me the biggest bear hug and told me he loved me...

Wait, did I just say that? Did he just say that? I mean, I'm so baffled that the reality of him loving me is starting to scare me. I don't know anything about this love stuff, I wouldn't know the first thing about it. We had a moment when he said it, and I couldn't say it back. I just couldn't because I wasn't sure if we were feeling the same thing. Instead, I asked him this:

" What makes you so sure that you love me? I mean, that's a pretty big commitment to make babe... "

Tony: " The thing is, I can't stop thinking about you when you're away. It's like you're a part of me and most of the decisions I make I have you in mind. Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm not but I know that I'm crazy about you. I don't date very often but when I do, I make sure the girl I'm with is one I'll stay with for a long time. Sure, our paths never would have crossed had we been in the same school and I wouldn't give you the time of day either, but you've become an important part of my life Lee... Know, understand and remember that babe. I love you. "

With that said, all that was left to do was give him a kiss... I felt so special, like I could just melt... I try to be the best girl I can for him, and I guess my efforts are paying off. I don't mean to be insecure, but I wonder if there's anything I can do about myself that'll make him love me more. I could lose weight, get into shape and wear make-up but will that make him stay? I know many people talk about loving a person for who they are, and Tony's doing that right now but with the way time is changing and so on, I need to move with time. From tomorrow, I'm making the commitment to love myself so that he can love me more.

It's the December holidays, Tony's parents have gone on a cruise and my parents have chased me off to my uncle's place. So I'm definitely spending the next two weeks with my baby. I guess breakfast at his place this time will be different from the last time we were together, because he made something to eat. He made cheese and ham omelettes, toast and bacon. I could definitely get used to him making a fruit salad too, it was amazing! I had the breakfast of champions, and he didn't even have to touch me.

We were sitting in the lounge, watching cartoons. I was cuddled against him with my head on his chest and his arm around me. He asked me if I loved him, and for a moment there, my world stopped. My mind's racing, as though the brain cells are scurrying around searching for an answer. I have no idea how to answer this question, I feel trapped...

Me: "Uh, babe..."

To be continued...